Everyday Valentine

January in Minnesota is often seen as drudgery. We typically try to just get through it. Between the bitter cold and dull gray skies, there’s not much to look forward to. As I considered how the holidays were long past, and my stir-crazy kids were stuck indoors loaded with energy to burn, the prospect of a date with my husband seemed like a dream. When we heard about local restaurants being able to open again, our excitement was paramount as we planned a dinner out. 

But a moment later, I saw a text come in that was an answer to a long-standing prayer, and my joy far surpassed the excitement I’d felt just a moment ago. The picture was simply a hand, with a ring on it – our dear friends were engaged! The groom’s loving devotion to his bride as he prepared his heart (and bank account) for the proposal had impacted us greatly as we awaited the day that he would finally pop the question. 

On a double date celebration at a local restaurant, the bride-to-be shared the story of how her best friend had proposed. As she shared the details one by one, my mind drifted back to my early twenties when my girlfriends would exchange proposal stories with each other, comparing the elaborate nature of how their guy had dropped a knee and revealed the ring. At the time, I remember the temptation many of us felt to compare our stories to each other and to gush more about how the proposal took place, instead of who proposed to us. 

You don’t have to look far to find the idea of a debonair, knight-in-shining armor type of guy getting all the credit as the “ideal man” in movies, books and poetry. The trap to have or to find “the perfect guy” or to have somehow ended up with a less than “perfect one” can steal our appreciation for the spouse God has chosen for us. We can forget about how important it is to trust God that our spouse can be all that He has designed them to be. A spouse that displays loyalty and faithfulness through everyday decisions can sweep you off your feet for a lifetime, not just for that one perfect date. 

This “perfect mate/perfect date” syndrome plagues singles and married people alike. The trap of a thrill seeking, yet shallow love, deceives us into a false reality of what we think we want in a relationship from the other person. Love that passes the most difficult test of loyalty can only be found when the relationship is built upon the faithfulness of God. A marriage based on covenant love isn’t dependent upon the performance of the other person, but upon the cornerstone of Christ and His faithfulness. A wise pastor friend of mine explained it like this, “Romance is built on faithful love, but faithful love cannot be built on romance alone.”

As a young couple, my husband and I had so much to learn about how to build romance into our everyday life. Demands from busy ministry life, several moves and little kids waking us up at night left us tired, unmotivated and low on creativity at times. But marriage ministries like Marriage Today, Dare to be Different and Imagine Beautiful all helped us learn how to love each other despite the challenges and demands on our time and energy. Though some of our birthdays and Valentine’s Days were elaborate and special, others were forgotten altogether! Instead of focusing on disappointments throughout the last eighteen years, I’ve learned to appreciate Jeremy for his strengths and to cover him in his weaknesses by believing the best in him. After all, I have my own weaknesses!  

My husband’s commitment to God and to our family has been an anchor to me and to our kids as we have faced many storms in our life together. I have seen him read the Bible every single day that I’ve known him. He is unwavering in his pursuit to prioritize daily worship and prayer and that challenges me greatly to grow in my own relationship with the Lord. The strength he finds in the Word has helped guide our family to trust God through a house fire, identity theft, a baby in the NICU and unexpected career changes. He has spent hours lovingly rocking crying babies as well as waking early to shovel snow before going to a long day of work running his own business. 

When I think about all the years of small decisions that displayed my husband’s integrity, I realized that they have caused me to know the faithfulness of the Lord in ways that I never would have anticipated. Jesus’ everyday life on earth was also filled with small decisions that displayed His trust in the Father and submission to His will.

“I will praise thee, O Lord my God, with my whole heart; And I will glorify thy name forevermore. For great is thy loving kindness toward me.” Psalm 86:12-13

God’s faithfulness has so much more to do with Him than with us. His pursuit of His children to know Him as Savior and friend is displayed in a thousand ways in our everyday lives. Do you have eyes to see the small ways He is working? If not, why not ask God to give you eyes to see Him moving and a heart to hear His voice. 

The best way we can experience His love is through His forgiveness of our sins, no matter how many or how awful they seem to be. Truly the greatest gift of love any of us have ever received is the gift of salvation, Christ’s voluntary death on the cross that atoned for our sins.

“For You, Lord, are kind and ready to forgive, rich in faithful love to all who call on You.” Psalm 86:5

How do you see God in your everyday life? Is it through a co-worker’s words of encouragement? A song that comes on the radio? A verse that you have always treasured?

My prayer for you married couples is that you would treasure your spouse for the ways they show love to you and to consider giving them grace this year if you don’t get a box of chocolates! Plus, you don’t need to worry about a date for February 14th, as Friendship Church has you covered this year. Check out www.friendshipmn.org/valentine to find more info on a fun and relaxing date night with free childcare at the Shakopee campus!