Up, Down and Vertical

I stood there as the conversation ended with their statement whirling through my head.  I had been talking with a young adult who expressed that they did not feel like this was the church for them.  The concern must have shown on my face as I looked at them and murmured “how come?”  With a shrug of their shoulders, they replied “I don’t know, there’s just no one my age here.”  I couldn’t compose my thoughts quick enough to respond, so the conversation quickly dissipated, and we headed our separate ways.  This comment has caused me to dive deeper into this topic and reflect on God’s call to the church when it comes to intergenerational ministry.

I grew up in a small church, about 200 people on a Sunday morning with only one service.  I spent the first 26 years of my life at this church!  It was home to me.  Everyone knew me and I knew everyone.  That’s the perk (and downside sometimes!) of being at the same church for so long.  All the ladies tell stories of you jumping off slides in the nursery when you were little and dancing like a crazy person during Christmas programs (yes, I was that child!).  However, as I have reflected, I have also come to appreciate and value the intergenerational relationships I unknowingly built throughout those years.  To this day when I visit my home church, while I don’t know everyone anymore and they definitely don’t all know me, I still am greeted by many people of different ages that I have known for many years.

Growing up, my dream had always been to marry a youth pastor.  However, as I got older, I began to realize that would probably mean leaving the comfort zone of my home church where I knew everyone.  This was an intimidating thought for me!  Go to a place where I know no one?  How would I get to know people?  So, when God answered this desire in my heart and I got engaged to a handsome youth pastor who was working at Friendship Church, the reality of switching churches set in.  I have never been much of an extrovert, left up to my own devices I would choose to be the person who slips in as the service starts, sits in the back row, and heads for the door right when the pastor says “amen.”  God knew this.  God knew I needed to create a community within this new church that I would be calling home and He was gracious enough to provide me with an “in” to Friendship Church.  Two weeks before Sam and I got married, I accepted the position as the Connections Assistant here at Friendship Church.  Unbeknownst to me at the time, this job had me working alongside the woman at Friendship Church who knows everyone, Lori McCormick!  If I am honest, at the time I had no idea what this job would mean for my transition into Friendship!  I had no idea how many people I would be crossing paths with and the blessing that this would be on my life.  Looking back on the last two and a half years I can tell you that it has meant countless relationships built with many individuals that I probably never would have crossed paths with if I had not been filling that role.  And do you know what?  Those relationships have been what has made Friendship Church home for me.  The people who know me and the people I know is what makes Friendship Church feel like family.  If I hadn’t stepped into that job, I might still be the person who slips in and out without hardly being noticed.  God knew I needed a little push to get out of my comfort zone.  But do you want to know what else?  Hardly any of those people are my same age.  And  I have found that it doesn’t matter.  Regardless of age, all those people have, and continue to make, an impact on my life.  They have helped mold and shape me into the woman and leader that I am today.

Titus 2 talks about older men and women teaching and training the younger men and women.  I would encourage you to read it.  What a beautiful picture it is!  Think about it.  Do you know people older than you?  Do you know people younger than you?  I know I do!  And if you are being honest, you do too!  Are you teaching and training them to be who God has called them to be?  Are you investing in the lives of those around you?  Are you looking for older people to teach you and younger people to pour into?  Don’t get me wrong, there is value in having peers your own age!  I have some of those myself.  But there is also so much value in being discipled by people older and discipling people younger.  It breaks my heart when I hear people say, “There aren’t people my age here, therefore I don’t belong.”  Regardless of if there are people my age, there are still people with whom I can invest in and build relationships.  I have found that sometimes it is those relationships that are the biggest blessing on my life.

My question to us, Friendship Church, is this, “Do we actively seek to know people both older and younger than us, or are we stuck in our comfort zone with peers our own age?”  For me, bridging the gap took place primarily through my job at first.  I’m not going to lie, if it had been up to me, I don’t know that I would have stepped out in this way.  But am I grateful for it now!  God has shown me the beauty of intergenerational relationships in my life and in the church.  He has shown me the blessing of walking through life alongside people of all ages.  Since Sam and I got married three years ago, I have also gotten involved and serve in the youth ministry where I get the privilege of ministering to and building relationships with our teens here at Friendship.  And let me tell you, often they teach me more than I will ever teach them!

So, my challenge is this, get involved!  Get to know people of all different ages and stages of life.  Who knows how God will use you to speak into their lives and how He will use them to speak into yours!  If you are looking for ways to get to know more people of all ages here at Friendship, there are many ministries available for you to plug into!  Serving alongside people on the Hospitality team, in the kitchen cooking meals, teaching our little children within the Kids Ministry, or being a discussion group leader for our youth are just a few ways to get connected!  Try saying “hi” to someone each Sunday morning that you’ve never met, or you don’t know well.  It can take boldness and courage to step outside our comfort zones, especially when you are introverted like me! However, I can guarantee you this, wherever you choose to get involved it will be worth it!  God will bless those relationships that you build, and your life will be richer because of them!