Lead Them

Happy Father’s Day!

If you’re a father, or if you’d like to be some day, I hope as you read on that you are encouraged, spurred-on, or that some of you may even feel a little punch to the gut.

Father’s Day and Mother’s Day are similar at their basic concept; they’re days in which children and spouses are to celebrate their fathers and mothers. Unlike Mother’s Day, a day that is deservedly all about mom, Father’s Day is and should be treated entirely different in my opinion.

Dads do not have the same experience as moms, and they’ll never fully understand what it means to be a mom. From conception through the rest of a child’s life, the experience a mother has is greatly different than that of a father. From childbearing, to the “I only want mommy” phases of life, to the widths and depths moms think through as they observe and analyze every moment of the lives of their children, dads just have a different experience. Because of that, when it comes to Mother’s Day, I am all for supporting my wife and doing whatever it takes to make Mother’s Day special for her. If we as husbands truly understand our wives, we’d pay attention to this and honor her as we’re called to do.

Father’s Day is different. Is it okay to be celebrated by your wife or children? Yes, absolutely! If you’re given a gift, should you accept it? Yes, with humility and thankfulness! But should you expect these things? Should you expect a weekend of relaxation, doing whatever you want, having your special requests fulfilled, neglecting the lawn, or getting away with some guy friends? Absolutely not. Every year, my wife will ask me how I want to celebrate Father’s Day, or if there’s anything special I’d like, and my answer is always, “I just want to be with you and the kids.”

Husbands and fathers, we are called to lead our wives and children every day. Having both of those titles myself, I know and have learned far too often that I don’t do that perfectly. So, Father’s Day for me is an annual reminder of what God has called me to in these roles. It’s a time to reflect on how I’ve loved and engaged my children the past year and to seek out new ways of pursuing my wife. It’s easy to get stuck in the ruts life paves for us and I’ve fallen prey to routine. But my wife and children deserve my best. Your family deserves your best.

So, this Father’s Day, I encourage you to take some real time to look within and ask yourself these questions:

• How am I as a Father? Am I engaged with my children or am I always finding housework or time away with friends? Do I tell my kids that I love them?
• How am I as a Husband? Am I pursuing my wife? Are we partners in all things; house chores, discipline, decision making, etc.?
• What can I do differently this next year to love and spend time with my wife and children?
• Am I honestly leading my family the way God has called me to?

I challenge you to listen to the song, “Lead Me” by Sanctus Real. Listen to the lyrics and see the faces of your wife and children. Your family wants and needs you to lead them.

Ephesians 5:25-28

^“25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, ²⁶ that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, ²⁷ so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.^[a] 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.”

1 Peter 3:7-8

^“7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you^[a] of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. ⁸ Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind.”

Ephesians 6:4

“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”