Wedding Vows

The wedding vows. Whether or not we’ve sat and tried to write them ourselves with the intention of saying them to another person, or if we have been attendees at a wedding ceremony where we’ve sat and listened, as third-party witnesses, to two other individuals say vows to one another, most can agree that it is a particularly sacred moment during the service.

I personally, have always looked forward to hearing which direction a couple chooses to go. Some would say that traditional is better, others believe that something unique and from the heart is a must. When my wife Kate and I were in the process of trying to decide how we hoped our vows would sound, we really wrestled with which direction we thought was best. Given my background and interest in poetry I desired to go with a more creative take, while Kate just about died at the idea of trying to write something herself. Not wanting to push her into an uncomfortable situation, I felt as though we were back at square one and I found myself researching how to write them with all the standard traditional language. I inevitability hit a wall and became frustrated with the idea of not being able to infuse a little bit more of how I saw God’s hand in Kate and I finding one another, and the magnitude of everything I was feeling in taking each other’s hand in marriage. There was relentless tension and turmoil in the angst of feeling a fear of failure and amazing grace. At the same time, a striking contradiction railed against my emotional health.

After several days of restlessness, and endless revision, we were only two days away from getting married, and we were absolutely no closer to having our vows done. Kate and I came together and spent some time in prayer over the matter, and after asking for the Lord’s help, we both felt we had been given an answer. We decided that creativity would be fine, and if I were to write them myself it would be perfectly okay for both of us to simply read them back to one another. It didn’t matter if only one of us had physically written them, it would ultimately be what we hoped – by God’s grace – our marriage and life together would look like, and would undoubtedly still be something that we would be participating in together. As peace over the matter finally came, the process came more naturally, and I had the idea of incorporating traditional language, while still writing from the heart using a more poetry-like style. I hope it doesn’t sound pretentious or braggadocious to say that many of the people in attendance at our wedding found our vows to be particularly moving, and one of the more beautiful elements in our ceremony.

Fast forward to today, where the two of us have been married only five months, I can see just how far I still have yet to go in fulfilling the vows I said to Kate, so with as much humility as humanly possible, and for the purpose of allowing others to see and hold me accountable to the promises I made to my wife, I would like to share those vows with others, in this blog, and I hope that by doing so anyone (single or married) might be blessed as they either look forward to saying their own vows to someone else one day, or look back on having already previously said them to another. 

I, Mike [Kate], take thee, Kate [Mike], to be my wedded wife [husband]). From this day forward we’re together, hand in hand, side by side. And I feel joyful, but without it I’m still here- happiness I think is fleeting, even though we’ll take it when it comes, through sorrow we’ll grow tender, I wish to see and know your heart, because there I’ll see God working- ways I’ve never seen before, and I know that when you’re hurting I’ll be with you, that to me is worth much more. 

In sickness without wealth, if we’re poor we’re all the richer, although I hope I’m always winning in a loving lifelong competition of who can say, “I’m sorry” quicker. 

I have a dream of growing old, before we have to say goodbye, but for now I feel so young, I’ll keep you close until death has done us part, our separate ways is only in His time. To have is very precious, but sometimes I hold a bit too tight, I see that you or I is not the point, so I’m gripping even tighter to the grace we have in Christ. 

Failure, seems seldom mentioned, but in truth I’ll let you down, to forgive as I’ve been forgiven is my utmost solemn vow. 

What’s left is just your hand, so in marriage please take mine. Forever, was once an empty concept, until He called us, now I see the meaning, I hear our Father’s voice as I whisper softly, “you are mine”.